Category Archives: Inspirational

Women Across Nation March on Washington:

Go On Girl, Get Down With Yo Bad Self

Damn, I must say there are truly some nasty ass, bold ass, bad ass bitches that walk amongst you, and please believe me when I tell you that’s a compliment and mean it in a good way.   I’m honored to say I marched with a whole lotta them yesterday, in solidarity, putting up a united front, against hatred and petty meanness.

Personally, I did it for the three sisters, five nieces, 2 moms, and more aunts than I could shake a stick at,

(which, they don’t like having done to them…I know, I’m just as surprised as the rest of you about this one too),

whom I call my own, for all my friends, and all my students, present or future, who identify as being a member of the opposite sex.

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Every last one of you who partook of yesterdays festivities, of which there’s more than a few of you, an estimated 2.9 million to be exact, or exact*ish, making it the largest protest in United States history…you all deserve to take a bow, or a curtsy, or give yourselves a bit round of applause.  Better yet, pat yourselves on the back and I’ll applaud for you.

Record Breaking Protest

I wonder how that one ranks in the hierarchy of the Donalds neverending pissing contest…Anybody else think maybe he’s compensating for something?

He’s always talking himself and his numbers up, and how he’s the best and blah blah blah, I’ve heard it all before only done better, by someone with an actual personality, that how I got my sham-wow and this piece of shit blender,  so with all disrespect, save it for another late night infomercial alright Donald?

Except, this time, he actually delivered as promised, adding his name did mean something, something big, potentially flirting with greatness.

Let’s Make Shit Great Again

To see that many people come together to make such a statement, so loudly had to be felt by him.  There’s no way he didn’t hear us, didn’t see us, doesn’t fear us.  For once, adding his name was all it took to do something amazing; though I find it more than a little ironic, that the just add trump recipe he keeps mentioning is actually for an anti-Trump and pro women rally, and I hear he’s not too fond of them, and we all know how fond he is of himself.  Jokes on you good sir,….didn’t see that on coming did ya Donald?

It’s gotta sting, more than just a little to know the only thing people are confident in his ability to do is to eventually make a mess of shit.  It’s only a matter of time before he does something dumb, and puts himself, his position, as well as our standing in the eyes of the rest of the world at jeopardy.  We’re already the laughing-stock of the rest of the world, but at least yesterday stands as a beacon, offering hope, though just a glimmer, not all of us have gone off the deep end.

Let Us Break Down These Artificial Walls Which Divide Us:

Seriously though folks, if you were one of the women who put the pussy grabbin, bad hair havin, non diaper changing, duck face makin, sorry excuse for a human on notice, Bravo, well played. [golf clap], judging by their alternative facts routine the next day, I don’t think they were ready for, or expecting all of that.

[golf clap]judging by their alternative facts routine the next day, I don’t think they were ready for, or expecting all of that.

Judging by their alternative facts routine the next day, I don’t think they were ready for, or expecting all’a’dat .

The overall solidarity between movements on the day of the protest, was super encouraging, we need more of that!

We don’t want more walls built up between us, carefully separating the “us”, from the “them”, the “haves”, from the “have nots”, we will not see a return to nativist beliefs, turning our backs on the “American tradition”, which is one disproportionally shaped by people who did not originally call this land their home, I believe they’re called immigrants, no?

We don’t want any more gated communities, exclusive members-only clubs, any more racism, and sexism, and hatred, or private yachts and most importantly, and folks, this is the one of which we should constantly be reminding ourselves, and everyone else of;  For these next 4 years, his ass, works for us, not the other way around and if he doesn’t shape up, it’s going to be yet another example of the universe’s cruel sense of humor (I kinda like it), when the nation says to him, “you’re fired”.

Isn’t it ironic?  Dontcha think?

So hats off to all you bold beautiful bitches out there, and I use that word endearingly…and to all you fellow down ass, forward thinking fellers, Y chromosoners down for the cause, and willing to stand in solidarity; enjoy what was a momentous achievement.  Shit, bask in it, you earned it, though only do so momentarily, for the hard work of changing this world into one that is”more round, less ugly, and more just”, to quote Paulo Friere, begins now, lest we lose this momentum.

 

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Whether You’ll Openly Admit it or Not This Dude Will Be Missed By All

Regardless of whether or not you voted the opposing party into office (no judgment, well not too much anyway, ok, you got me, maybe just a smidge), it’ll be tough to deny the great presence Obama leaves some pretty tough shoes for the President-“elect” to fill right away too.  had that will now be void.  His successor typically tries to fill said void

Just so long as he doesn’t attempt to fill the void left by Obama’s exit and lack of presence with more of his own…his presence is what I’m referring to in this case.  It would just be nice to hear the void be filled with “goodness” and words like honey instead of the vitriol or venom we’ve grown accustomed to him spewing at us.  Nothing more than (white noise I guess you’d call it…though I wouldn’t call it much of anything, late for dinner, a monkey’s uncle, or rumpelstilskin,, nor would I touch you with a 10ft pole.  Something about it’s just, just grimy, trust me.  h

I’m just including his farewell address here because who knows how long it will take Donald Trump to prepare and get ready for me personally, dd

I’m just including his Farewell speech here for my readers, if I still have any at least, because he truly will be missed….and who knows when we’ll see someone class up the office the way that he did.  I’m unwilling to accept that 8 years of progress is now going to go up in smoke as a reign of blatant greed takes over.  I hope my worries are as unfounded as they are unsettling.

Survival of the Fittest or The Softer Side of Me

Note, the following was one of many started but not finished pieces of writing I seem to have accumulated over the years.  I merely finished it recently.  This one I started over one year ago on 12/5/15 and can only guess what it was a response to.

Survival of the Fittest:

I’m not gonna lie, or try fronting.  Today got a little emotional for me.  Out of nowhere, I started to uncontrollably sob, the hysterical kind where after a minute or so, you realize how ridiculous you must look to anyone and everyone else if they could see you at that moment, and that thought makes you laugh, and you spending the remainder of your diva moment alternating uncontrollably between the two, until eventually it just stops out of the blue, for no apparent reason, and with as much advance notice and fanfare as it first came on with, which is none.

Maybe it finally got that snickers bar.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have this nasty habit of never allowing myself to feel proud or to be excited or to admit fear or many of the other basic emotional responses to various environmental stimuli.  I don’t know why I do this, or what it is I’m afraid of to where my instinctual response is to downplay my interest level or to not ever let on just how much something truly means to me, but it must somehow be tied into my survival as all instincts naturally are.  The only thing I do know is it often has the opposite effect in my life, stunting my growth as a person and alienating me from people and situations that I would otherwise stand to benefit from in the long run.

Maybe I’m afraid that by letting on the fact I’m excited about something will in some way influence the universe in delivering it to me or me to it, because there are many times I feel like the universe and fate, (if there even is such a thing), is out to get me.  It’s because those times I do show any outward exuberance towards something all I’m ever left with is a sense of disappointment when it doesn’t measure up, or deliver in the end, which it never does. 

Just Who Do You Think You Are?

After allowing myself to feel dejected for a while, I start to think to myself, who do I think I am to  have the audacity to feel I deserve anything from this world, from this life, from the universe? 

Such Hubris.

I am nothing, and no-one.

Nothing’s guaranteed except THIS very moment you’re currently living in, and even then the only thing you know is that this too will end, though you know not when.  Time is not a linear thing in this regard, all moments were not created equal, some last only an instant and some moments go on for longer like the energizer bunny.   How much of that is dependent on the individual, how much is by design, and how much would have happened the same way irrespective of who it happened to?

I’m not fooling anyone, am I?

What is it that makes me think not letting on about whether there exists a softer side of myself in any way makes me less vulnerable?  A soft underbelly is a soft underbelly, just ask Churchill.  The immobility this fear and these questions leaves me with cripples me, and leaves me paralyzed, at least from the brain down because my mind is constantly racing and working in overdrive, which acts as a counterweight to everything else about me.

The more effort it exerts, the less I’m able to do.   Classic cookie cutter example showing the pitfalls and dangers of overthinking, purely textbook.  In extreme cases, if left untreated, for long enough, a death of sorts is possible, even likely.

A slow and painful death, arduous to reach,  immobilized with fear, laying at the bottom of a kiddie pool slowly being filled with Piranha from the Amazon which would be easy enough for you to escape from if not for being paralyzed from the brain down.  All you would have to do, is stand up, step out, and voilà, crisis averted.

Instead, you just lie there, slowly dying from the inside out, one tiny bite at a time.  I know no physical pain remotely comparable to the psychic pain this causes and I wouldn’t ever wish it on another human being because it’s a pain I’m all too familiar with, having experienced it to some degree for my entire life, or at least as much of it as I can remember.

That’s what I get, for thinking the universe owes me jack diddly shit when it doesn’t, or maybe it does which is why that’s what I get and that’s another thought that terrifies the shit out of me.  What if I’m not nearly so good, or so decent, as I thought I was?

What if the universe has long since moved off of the gold standard, and the dollar, and now paid it’s bills using nothing but Karma?  How fucked would I be, would you be, would we all be? I’d be in debt up to my eyeballs either way and maybe that’s why my life has taken such twists and such turns as to make “move over murphy” become my new mantra?

I’m sure I’m not the only one this change in cosmic currency would affect in such a way either, because the universe, by it’s very name and definition, is universal.

You wanna talk about a global economic crisis; try that shit on for size; then we’ll talk.

Karma, yeah it can be a real motherfucker and it always has a funny way of coming back around and biting you right in the ass when you least suspect it.  But if that truly is the case, by that logic, to have the string of shitty luck I’ve had I must have done something truly horrific.

My whole life I’ve felt singled out, picked on, targeted, taken advantage of, or had shit started with me because for some apparent reason, one I’m unfamiliar with, I look like I make for an easy target or something.  Sometimes I catch myself searching for the sign or the target that must rest right between my shoulder blades and paints a bullseye upon my back when I stretch my arms, which I do often on account of my bad shoulder, to no avail.

Nothings there.

Maybe it’s the fact I don’t feel the need to puff out my chest, mark my territory, inflate my ego, or brag about how I’m the man in bed, in the head, or anywhere else (save work), and that was only because work was more about effort than anything.  If you wanted to get better, you would, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t.  Simple enough concept really, or so I thought.

Maybe it was my general stature which is small, or my demeanor which is and always has been of a much larger variety because I always try to carry myself well through this world (and sometimes I fail at it miserably), because I’ve always believed that while it may not be about the destination, how you undertake the journey matters, the way in which you go about getting there really fucking matters in the end.

In this belief, as with many others, I’m left feeling all alone in sticking to my guns and my morals and in all those things which I believe develop ones character in the long run it always feels like I’m the sole person standing up for myself, or for others in a room full of people sitting down on those things.  The only sane person in a world of insane people…now doesn’t that sound crazy?

At which point do I stop being the sane one? 

But I know I’m not crazy and I feel it in my heart that I’m not wrong either, that a lot of things that go on which people have conditioned themselves to accept are in fact wrong, in such a blatant way, and with such wanton disregard for the very basic principles of human decency that it serves as a damning condemnation of society today and begs the question whether we humans still have any decency left within us.

We should all be ashamed of ourselves, and I say with intentionality because while I may not subscribe to it, there is more that I could be doing to change it as well and therefore my own inaction makes me just as guilty as anyone else.

The only recourse which prevents me from adopting the cold and callous attitude of my immediate surroundings, and not to have already said, “fuck it, I take what comes next”, flipped the switch and turned the lights off for good, which I’ve already tried to do once (though that’s a different story for another time), is to adopt a devil may care attitude, and give off a general aloofness to the happenings of the world, both of which are just as much evolutionary adaptation as they are a conscious choice.

How else could I exist in a world so filled with hate, and with such reckless disregard for the wellbeing of others when I have so much love in my own heart and care more about others than I do myself?    

A major complication this presents me with, is the extremely small number of people I allow to get close enough to see me past a very superficial conception which, on account of my aforementioned defense mechanisms, and natural tendencies is at odds with the real me, and with my true self.

Due to my poor track record with those I have allowed to get close enough to hurt me, this path has now become littered with booby traps and other hazards and one must overcome obstacles which are daunting if nothing else.

Anyone in their right mind would rather have a family picnic in the middle of Korea’s demilitarized zone during the height of the tensions between the North and South, or would prefer an honest answer to the question about whether that dress makes them look fat or not, I know I would.

Needless to say, more often than not, my dinner plans consist of a standing reservation for one followed by light drinks, some quality time with me, myself, and I; maybe even dessert, we’ll see how everyone plays their cards first.

Judging by what I’ve seen from this world, I’m content with that, though sometimes even I get lonely and feel hopeless, and even I can only do that whole me against the world routine, carrying the world’s woes upon my back like Atlas, before I’m eventually forced to either shrug or be crushed under the sheer weight of it all it’s just too much pressure.

   

Here’s some of my oldies but goodies

https://sammyscoops.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/the-passing-of-rodney-king-what-it-made-me-think/

https://sammyscoops.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/an-attempt-to-write-these-wrongs/

https://sammyscoops.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/modern-age-lynchingtrayvon-martin-emmitt-till-of-today/

Hey there strangers…

Hey, there you!

I have a slight confession to make…

I’ve missed some golden opportunities

Look I’m a little embarrassed in my lackluster performance this past year, I really screwed the pooch and missed out on delivering some solid material on a lot of issues near and dear to my heart such as #BlackLivesMatter, and the general push to de-militarize what has quickly come to resemble an occupying force; being the most glaring example that just jumps right out at me.

I’d also in that same vein, have to say that I missed out on the main events which kicked off the 50th Anniversary of the Black Panthers for Self Defense founding in Oakland California by Bobby Seale and Huey Newton as a direct response to many of these same issues surrounding police tactics and increased presence in communities of color.

It’s so striking to me the many similarities between the Black Panther Party’s mission and that of the #BlackLives movementi from today’s day and age; And I’m not talking they vaguely resemble one another (some real fraternal twin shit), I’m talkin that two peas in a pod, I share your thoughts, and whatever other weird “ness” known only to those who share every last thing in common, including their DNA, you know, the identical variety.  Essentially the issues being raised could have been lifted straight from 50 years ago and plopped down right here in the middle of everything else.

Moving Forward

I’ve got a lot of other really great ideas and nowhere near enough time for me to possibly flesh them all out in as  much depth as I’d like to or that they deserve to be treated with, but giving it an honest go never hurt anyone (at least anyone I can think of) other than ego and pride should we fall flat on our faces, but such is life right?   The act of simply showing up and trying is more than most do on a daily basis, and those unwilling to leave it all on the table and risk overextending and belly flopping aren’t trying hard enough,  period. So they should zip it as far as I’m concerned, there’s no room for idle talk.

I almost forgot to mention

Last but certainly not least, I should explain why it is I have so little time and availability with which to maintain this thing… Your boy made moves, of the epic life altering variety and let me tell you the struggle has been real.

I know I had allueded to wanting to pursue the profession I had known I wanted to do a long time ago, I jsut decided to take a year off of school in order to work full-time, get out of my dad’s place he was kind enough to let me live in, just not very peacefully, or without any sort of tension.

Well, it took a while, and things got off to a rather rocky start, but I finally shook them damn cobwebs off; I’ve taken and passed both the CBEST and all three subsections of the CSET for Social Science, a lot of which, such as Economics I had to either do a major refresh or teach myself entirely from scratch.  It was a lot, and I do mean a lot of hard work, and it’s not nearly done yet, not by a long shot.  In fact, this party’s just barely getting started.

In order to do justice to this most priveledged of professions with so much potential to affect our youth, and one I have such deep respect for, I had to really give it my all, and be committed, and let me tell you, I gave up everything to ride this one out until the wheels come off.  I’m in it to win it.

I guess I should start with…THANKS

And I definitely need to give thanks to all those I’ve encountered who’ve also heard its calling, especially those who had the grave misfortune of having me as one of their students, because they helped shape me into the person I am today, gave me their unwavering belief and support along the years, and having given me a love for learning that’s given me so many gifts in such a short timeframe that I will forever be indebted to them.

If that’s not enough, they did it in a way that not only let me be me, and do things in my own way, but actively encouraged the process of finding those things in the first place despite some of my poorer choices along lifes continous pathway of trial and error.

And let’s just say, mines had more than it’s fair share of errors along the way, but my decision to pick this dream up, dust if off, and bring it out of deferrment will never be one of them.

It’s the first thing I’ve done in my life that just felt right, which begs the question, “what took you so long?”, and while I may not be able to ever truly answer that fully, in a way that does the question, or my path up to this point any degree of justice, what I can, and will do, is respond in such a way that makes up for lost time, and says “I have arrived”.

Stay tuned, cuz baby, you aint seen nothin yet!

2016-06-04-20160604_211703

 

Scattered

Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About ItScattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It by Gabor Maté
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’ve never had a book hit so close to home as this one did; it felt almost as if Dr. Mate had looked into my innermost self and mirrored back at me many of the experiences and the feelings from my life that have gone unspoken of because I never quite knew how to explain them. I felt like he could have been talking about me in many of the scenarios he described.

I found this book to be really easy to read in the sense that it wasn’t overly technical. Dr. Mate’s moving and heartfelt narrative on ADD does a solid job of introducing a controversial topic in a way that is equally as appealing to someone completely unfamiliar with the condition as it would be to someone who has been living with it for their entire lives whether diagnosed or not; and he does so with empathy and compassion.

The examples he provides, including the example of himself, as an accomplished medical practitioner and author as well as an adult living with ADD, help to dispel many of the misconceptions concerning who can have ADD or what it may look like. I was also able to appreciate his balanced explanation that genetics and environment, are equally responsible for its existence; and found his assertion of the disproportionate role that the first several years of a child’s life, its relationship with its mother/caregiver, and the mental/emotional state of the mother/caregiver has in determining who will develop ADD, regardless of genetic predisposition to be fascinating.

Most importantly, Dr. Mate warns against placing too much emphasis on treating ADD with medication only and offers us his common sense recommendations for healing one’s relationship with their ADD child, or ADD selves, the most important of which being to create an environment of unconditional positive regard without which it is impossible for the person living with ADD to fully heal emotionally.

Without first beginning to heal their “self” first and foremost, the person living with ADD will find themselves continuing their present pattern of strained relationships lacking intimacy, tasks left undone, and unmet potential; regardless of whether they are being prescribed any sort of pharmacological treatment or not.

Do yourself a favor and read this book, you won’t regret it.

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