How’s About We All Get On Telling Obama We Don’t Like CISPA Anymore This Time Than We Did Last Time

How’s About We All Get On Telling Obama We Don’t Like CISPA Anymore This Time Than We Did Last Time

English: The Seal of the United States Federal...
English: The Seal of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation. For more information, see here. Español: El escudo del Buró Federal de Investigaciones (FBI). Para obtener más información, véase aquí (Inglés). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I really think we made this as clear as we could possibly make it for them, since obviously they are grasping at coming to terms with the fact that we just aren’t that interested and for some strange reason they just don’t understand why we don’t think CISPA sounds like a very bright idea.  I would rather put my testicles in a blender set to high for 20 minutes only to have every single one of my ex girlfriends there to volunteer to act as my nurses; at  the same time.  If that doesn’t say count me the fuck out, I don’t know what does…

I’m not sure how everyone else is taking the whole needing to go over this with the Government and their Justice Department cronies, but personally I’m beginning to feel suffocated by their neediness on this subject.  Anything past occasionally having to repeat myself and the boundaries of our relationship and I get the sudden urge to run for the hills as fast as I can.  Talk about a stage 5 clinger…

How much clearer must we make it that our digital lives are a no-fly zone (not that those have worked well for Pakistan so far…), it might have been cute or endearing the first time they asked and we said no, but honestly, now its just getting fucking annoying.  Its about time they got up out our virtual kool-aid and started going to therapy or anger management classes or something like that.

I feel like the FBI is turning out to be one of those ex’s you knew was gonna be clingy and would in all likelihood blow up in your face at some point only to say fuck it, holding on  for dear life and enjoying as much of the ride as you can.  Now it feels like we’re faced  with being at that point where they’ve way overstayed their welcome in your personal space and aren’t taking no for a reason like this is let’s make a deal or some shit.

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...
Image via CrunchBase

Despite their adamant claims of not being interested in you at all, you come to find out they’ve been campin out on your Facebook, your Twitter, and your Google+ accounts and who knows what else….skipping straight over the whole socially awkward cyberstalker Mark Zuckerberg thing and going straight for full on pervert creepo about to be unwittingly caught in a sting on To Catch a Predator.

To Catch a Predator title card
To Catch a Predator title card (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Heres a novel approach, if the FBI, or any other government organization would like to know something about what exactly it is that is going on in our digital lives; they should try asking.  Obviously they aren’t past that whole stage where you have your friends find out when someone is interested in you or not  because the mere thought of talking to them scares you shitless. This is usually done via cutesy notes that folded like an origami ostrich and adorned with the all important checkboxes that need to be filled out and returned in order to decipher its meaning; all because you hadn’t hit puberty yet, or finally made it to high-school or whatever the case may be, I really just don’t give a fuck.

Now you’re faced with the unpleasant prospect of changing your phone number and moving or obtaining a new identity cause they just had to make shit awkward and turn out to be that crazy one everyone everyone has heard horror stories about from one friend or another, only now its your problem… great, just fuckin great…. smh…what else could go wrong…

Wax figure of Daniel Craig at Madame Tussauds,...
Wax figure of Daniel Craig at Madame Tussauds, London. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just for future reference ya G men of the world out there snoopin around, I’m pretty sure that Daniel Craig playing the fictional character of James Bond already has the whole cloaks and daggers thing on lock; whatever it is you’re playing at, its giving off a strong creeper vibe, like of the charts strong.  I would recommend getting a life of your own to pick apart and some form of court appointed therapy to remedy that, at least until the voices stop….

Related articles

Advertisements

One thought on “How’s About We All Get On Telling Obama We Don’t Like CISPA Anymore This Time Than We Did Last Time”

Questions Comments Snide Remarks?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s